Bob McCune

For several months now, all of the candidates have been hounding me to make a public endorsement of their candidacy. Everyone from Obama to Hillary to McCain to Romney have been looking for me to give them the final push over the top as we head into Super Tuesday. I have decided I cannot, in good conscience, stand behind any one of them.

Instead, I have agreed to officially endorse the one true candidate of change. And yes, that candidate could be none other than A Tasty Burrito.

Tasty Burrito is the true candidate of change. He promises to end the hamburger-centric policies that have plagued this country for far too long. His economic stimulus plan guarantees all middle and lower income families will receive sour cream and guacamole rebates and a government-provided “stay fresh” container for all ground corn-based products.

Now some will tell you his rhetoric is long-winded and gassy. That you’ll feel bloated by his speeches. I wholeheartedly disagree. I find his platform to be both delicious and quite satisfying.

But you say, “Bob, can we in this perilous time of war and terrorism, a rapidly declining dollar, and record foreclosures really trust the presidency to burrito stuffed in an Armani suit?” My response? Sí, se puede, yes we can!